Bad Poetry Contest Submissions - Group 1

Here is the first set of entries we've received for our SpendOnLife bad poetry contest.  Enjoy!

#1 - The Dollar

I once had a dollar, a dollar I say
And that dollar I thought would turn into more dollars
But the dollar I thought that would turn into more dollars,
Turn into fodder, fodder I say

Fodder that fed my increasing debit, what debit you say
The debit that came with be a grad student
But I thought that being a grad student would help me make more dollars
Only those dollars turned into tuition bills, bills I say

So here at my desk, a desk for the in debit grad student
I sit and I work and work and work
And only get paid for the five hours a day
No matter how many I work or what I say

#2 - Untitled

Twas a night before day
And all thru the place
My visa bills were
Takin up space
Piled high on my table
And reminders in my inbox
A virtual nightmare
A need for debt detox
So I packed my bags and
headed to Caribbean fair
where credit rating is a number
and nobody cared

#3 - Ode to the Hole in My Pocket

I Mary Kay’d my way to $1000 in debt and then I
Costa Rica’d my way to $1000 more.
I bought New Year’s Eve dresses and paid for my
tresses one too many times at a Newbury salon.
I charged manicures and pedicures, pizzas
and Miller High Life.  Maybe I should have
charged that plasma screen TV after all.  I once charged
a laptop, decided $28 was too much for insurance coverage,
three weeks later I cracked the screen, then read on AOL that
the company went out of business and I’m still
paying for this damn thing.  Now every month there is a hole
in my pocket and I have nothing to show except
for Hibiscus flowers painted on my toes and my new
fear of US postal workers whenever my credit card statement is near.

#4 - Untitled

My money woes started long ago
How I'll pay the debts off, I'll never know.
 
When the balance was small, we kept saying "Charge!"
When I open the bill, I cry because the balance is so large.
 
My poetry stinks I hope just enough
Because I could really use a thousand bucks.

#5 - Bad Debt

#6 - Untitled

#7 - Credit vs Debt Cards

#8 - Untitled

Oh debt, debt, debt
You make me fret

There was that thing I just had to get
Now my credit card has me wrapped up in a net
of debt
I fret

#9 - Ode to Debt

Lenders of money and coins low greediness
Raised thee rates of interest bearing annually;
Conspiring with economic tolls and tribulations
Brought yon consumer financial stress and pains;

To hide behind thy statements and legalize yarns
Conditional scores that are brought down by limits;
Torn asunder by fear and others trespass. Hear me
Inflation’s whipping boy, do not cut my credit for
Thy pleasures wit. Do not ignore the cries of masses.

Hoarding taxpayer’s papers under thy worn mattress.
Miserly mistress of yen, I curse your unfeeling heart.
That would deny my plea of amnesty and put a stay
Against your foolish variable rate rises. Ha, I spit
On the establishment that would make me a slave.
 
But wait…I see thee troubled brow sweat. For I
See the truth as clear. To distance my presence
From your foul presence. I shall rise like a phoenix
From my financial ashes and tear thee bondage cards
To pieces and live free, debt free. Financial stress shall be no more.

#10 - Untitled

Easy peasy lemon squeezy
I got me some credit cards
now I got me some debt which is very hard
over 20k I owe
I cant pay them back
with the wages I make
oh credit card companies why did you send me those cards?