Bad Poetry Contest Submissions - Group 14

Here is the fourteenth set of entries we've received for our SpendOnLife bad poetry contest. Enjoy!

#131 - _Call Me_

On the telephone
Ring, ring, ring!
Their confidential message for
All the world to hear
(At least all the world who
Can fit into my crummy
Apartment while the answering
Machine -- ah, glorioso machina! --
Screams (of course I meant screens (I think)) the calls)
And--

Where was I?

Oh yes, the calls, dearest friends, they know
Me so well by now
They almost sometimes get my name right.

The little green light, so friendly, so
Sparkly on the machine
Like a green light on a pier so
Far off across the bay in a story
I think it was about money then too.

The voice so dear to hear in my ear
I sometimes sit for hours just dreaming
About that voice
that ringing
that machine.

Amazing that anyone
Would care so much about
Me and my money
Or the lack thereof.

Of course I would give you what you want from me
But if i did
Would you keep calling me
And leaving that sweet voice on
My machine?

Doubt it.

So I'll keep you guessing to keep you
Calling. Ring. Ring. Ring.
Someday you'll be satisfied for I
Will satisfy your demands
And when I do you'll think you'll miss me
But you won't be
Cause by then I'll have your number and

On your telephone
Ring, ring, ring!

And you'll say hello and
I'll say wassup and you'll hang up
And I'll hit redial and redial and redial
And you'll know how much you miss me.

#132 - Til Debt Do Us Part

I try so hard to quit you
But everytime I do
I lust and crave
I can`t behave
Got to use you one more time
To make those new Choos mine

This will be the last
In buying I will fast
Still I swipe you
Abuse you
Caught in a dangerous cycle
Buying diamonds that sparkle

I wish I knew how to quit you
Early from the start
But now we`re bound in legaly
Til debt do us part

#133 - My Bad Relationship with Credit

You know you have a bad relationship with credit
When you confuse "charge" with "debit"
When you're recently engaged
But still have credit card bills to pay
Yet salivate over having a wedding at Gotham Hall
Two hundred dollars per person? Not bad at all!
When there is that Mastercard in tow!

You know you have a bad relationship with credit
When you justify a new dress purchase
After you've had your mani-pedi
Cute mini-butterflies on your piggies, courtesy of Amex!
What's thirty bucks here or there?
When you can show off fake diamonds on your luscious hair!

You know you have a bad relationship with credit
When you avoid that sketchy 888 and 886 number
And the automated voicemail leaves the same message
In always a courteous tone
Thank god for caller I.D.
Otherwise you'd have to explain
Why you went over the credit line again.

Mastercard, Visa, Amex and Discover
Why must they always be ready and willing
To fuel the consumer's insatiable spending power?
And with endless purchases to go
Before Ms. Spendthrift sleeps, the last thing she wants to see
Is that terrible late payment fee.

Actually, that Ms. Spendthrift is ME.
I am the one with a bad relationship with credit
I just can't leave the plastic at home
When they cry out to be swiped.
I will not go gently into the fright
Of paying only cash for purchases
And living within my means
When there's always credit
To fulfill my dreams!

Nothing would be better
Than to take these friends to the shredder
And bid adieu to my unhealthy relationship with...

Credit.

#134 - Untitled

Envelopes filled with another envelope is never a good sign
When I go to my mail box its all that I find.
 
I hate my telephone, dont want to hear it ring
theres always a voice saying when are you going to pay this thing.
 
Its dark in here I've got candles to glow
they cut off my electric dont you know.
 
I have a car  almost broke down
dont have any gas to get me to town.
 
I have these maxed out plastic cards
they are declined without regaurd.
 
well I am sorry I have to go
they just cut my intranet doesnt that blow.

#135 - I'm-Just-A-Poor-Young-College-Student-Without-Money

Credit.
Just how can't you regret it?
Shiny cards
Leave you barred,
Scarred
And,
Marred
And wondering why
you just didn't go
with debit.

#136 - Spam Wedding

Recently engaged,
No money for the wedding.
Eat "Spam" for dinner.

#137 - Untitled

My cards I maxed with glee to spare ! Nice gifts for all , all chosen with care ! Loans here and there, I was on a roll ... Thousands of dollars in the hole !  Lost my job but bills still came  ... Now I'm screwed trying to figure out what to do because of my game !

#138 - Untitled

Oh Woe I Owe I Owe
I Pay and Pay
It Wont Go Away
Oh Woe I Owe I Owe

#139 - Untitled

Here I am, all alone.
My children gone and on their own.
Those days for me, are all but gone.
My children are on their own.

In this house where they were raised.
All grown up now and away.

Sooo, where do I go from here?
I sit, I look, I stare.
I never saw my life like this.
All alone with no kiss.
All alone with no kiss.
 
I’m still young, but I’ve learned.
That life can take it’s own turn.
I’m lost without a destiny.
What can I ever see in me?
 
To start again, all anew.
Where is me and where are you?
 
Soooo, where do I go from here?
I sit, I look, I stare.
I never saw my life like this.
All alone, with no kiss.
All alone, with no kiss.
 
I’ve always been so very, very strong.
But I don’t know Lord, if I can carry on.
Sometimes I just fall and pray.
Oh please God, please, take me away.

#140 - Self-Inflicted Bad Debt
 

I thought it was a good idea; that emergency credit card,
And the overdraft account to transfer when times got hard.

The plan went bad when I started making minimum payments,
Even though I had enough each month.
It really made no sense
IT REALLY MADE NO SENSE!

The creditors keep on calling me.
The interest is adding up,
But now that I have other bills, paying them off is extra tough
PAYING THEM OFF IS EXTRA TOUGH!

I’m stuck with over a thousand dollars of self-inflicted bad debt,
With high interest… and monthly fees…
late payment charges every month...
 
Before credit cards, get discipline and… have a plan
LEARN MONEY MANAGEMENT 101 !?