Bad Poetry Contest Submissions - Group 2

Here is the second set of entries we've received for our SpendOnLife bad poetry contest.  Enjoy!

#11 - Mr. Credit Card

I try to pay your balance down every month
But you laugh in my face
And raise my interest rate

I still need to use you because times are tight
But you turn your back on me
And lower my credit line

Sometimes I wish I had never met you
You are so deceptive and tempting
You leave me in confusion and despair

As soon as I'm desperate
I'll pull you out of my wallet again
For something like a car repair

And then I'll pay triple the price
Because you Mr. Credit Card are so nice

The cycle never ends
I'Il end up back where I started from again
Owing you Mr. Credit Card for all eternity....

#12 - The High Cost of Dating

I can’t pay my rent, and I might lose my job.
Though I have a few options, like joining a mob.
But instead of pitching a tent in my best friend’s yard,
I decided to apply for a credit card.
I started out small and first bought some food.
Then I went out with this really hot dude.
We ran up a tab at our local raw bar.
What the heck is "APR"?
The Grey Goose and oysters took quite a toll,
Now I’m a thousand dollars in the hole.
Needless to say, we no longer date,
Unless I can negotiate a lower interest rate.
At this point, my credit score is probably in shambles
Which is why I have taken to poetic rambles.
If it means a little cash, it’s worth the attempt.
But it would be AWESOME if I were tax exempt.
I'm trying to offer a wee bit of humor,
Since a prize is in order…(I believe that’s the rumor).
I’ve decided this credit card is evil and vile!
But alas, I can still manage a crooked smile.
The other day, I decided to burn it in a fire,
At least this way, my debt can’t go any higher.
So my plastic crutch is now melted and charred.
Take that! You blasted credit card!

#13 - Untitled

Ring goes the phone, an unknown number
Could it be another call from Mastercard?
I'd better not let down my guard.
Maybe it's someone from Discover?
Those pesky people tend to hover.
Possibly the girl from Visa
She'd like to get a piece of
My next paycheck,
With already nothing left on deck.
Spent on all those luxuries I crave,
Like electric, gas, and water,
Not much left, I'll have to barter
For groceries and gas, or maybe I'll pass
And call it diet and exercise!

#14 - Untitled

Woe is me, the credit card queen
I can spend and spend like you’ve never seen
I duck the calls of the creditor’s that call
I’m not home, I’m out shopping at the mall!

I’m over the limit and overdue
That nice new purse, what a shade of blue!
I had to buy it but Visa says No!
Now you are cancelled and you have no dough!

Not a penny, not a dime, no plastic this time.
I charged a coffee it seemed so paltry
Groceries on the Amex, but now they’ve been eaten
I’ve got credit card crunch and I’m surely beaten.

Please pick me to win $1000 bucks for my debt
I promise I’ll pay Citibank and yet…
If I win I could get those chi-chi new shoes
That would surely get rid of my credit card blues!

#15 - Untitled

Debt, what the heck,
it's not like I stand alone...
It's become American
to owe and owe and owe.
It's me, it's you.
it's the red, white, and blue
debt, what the heck....
It's what Americans do.....

#16 - Untitled

a lustrous button
full of cash

advances things to
wear, eat, drink.

my eyes SUBMIT!
and with one click

the papers coast in
eagerly. one

suitor, Chase—
a man of dreams!—

bears dinners, drinks
and novice things.

he gives me
every thing I need;

I gift him with
mere loyalty.

Ring! a gloomy voice,
o' dread, announces

my new friend has fled.
the folks were right;

he was bad, in spite of
all the things he had.

#17 - Untitled

The day has come when Capital One took my card... 
I see they have won!
 
Here comes Discover to put an end
I promised I wouldn't spend
but there is nothing left
I am bereft
 
Should've paid with moolah, the money, the green
instead I chose to spend what I didn't have
How obscene!!
 
Here is the message, it really is quite clear
Don't spend what you don't have, my dear
Spending in excess, they'll take your Amex!

#18 - Untitled

I always wanted platinum
I've always wanted bling
Too bad the platinum that I have
is not a shiny ring
This tiny piece of plastic
Has caused me so much pain
I can't make heads or tails of it
Just make it go away

#19 - Untitled

Some shoes
A dress
New jeans
A purse

Money spent on fashion
Makes my Visa balance
Much worse

The payments are high
The payments are due
I've written bad poetry
Now it's all up to you

#20 - Untitled

I got tired of being a lame so I got a credit card
Now I must work 80 hours a week, what a retard
Bad choices, no Royal Royce’s
Just bunch credit collectors pestering voices 
Bad credit Bad credit, banks state that I pathetic
Ever car dealerships and loan offers, where tee shirts with the slogan
You will never get it.
Debt as become my employer and my friend
Debt always gets my paychecks in the end
Debt does not want some but all
Man I so broke I can’t afford to fall