Bad Poetry Contest Submissions - Group 3

Here is the third set of entries we've received for our SpendOnLife bad poetry contest. Enjoy!

#21 - Untitled

I'm in trouble can't seem to recover
please help me to cover my credit
card bubble.

#22 - Why

because a degree in psychology
is best used to analyze my friends and family,
my former marriage, my childhood, my job interview failures.
 
because a minor in computer science
that made me a programmer analyst years ago
is obsolete now, the help wanted ads written in a foreign language. 
 
because a 15 year work gap on my resume
does not show the skill required to raise two children,
manage a household, a soccer team, the ways and means committee.
 
because the job I'm able to obtain
no matter how well I do it or for how long
will always be unappreciated and underpaid civil service. 
 
that's why my credit card is an ocean of debt
awash in wave after wave of charges for my tuition,
accounting textbooks, macroeconomics study guides, student fees.
 
I walk its shore at sunset
collecting the driftwood it deposits
hoping to not to be washed away while I build a better life.

#23 - Student Credit Card Limerick

A credit card is not an invite to spend,
Or go partying out with your friend.
Your parents get the bill,
They'll be looking to kill.
And your fun college life will end.

#24 - Untitled

I have credit cards that are killing me, with debts from a lot of spending sprees.

I try and try to pay them all off,
but they keep raising the annual interest cost.

To get their help in paying this debt,
I have to be laid off, late, behind or in a big mess.

So for now, I'll keep plodding along paying the cost and hoping for the best, not using their cards, staying on track and maybe one day realize I am out of their debt!!

#25 - The Truth about Credit

I want that NOW
Is where it begins
But what do I do?
I have no cash to spend.

Without a thought,
I pull out my plastic
Swipe it thru, WOW
This is fantastic!

I got what I want
Now I am happy
Till the statement comes,
NOW this is crappy!

I did not know the
Interest rate jumped
With that one purchase my
“promo” rate was dumped.
Now I must pay THIS before

THAT counts again
What would have been paid in 1 year
Will now take 10!

Credit card companies keep changing the rules.
Oil companies keep going up on fuels.
Everything is rising, except OUR pay
Can't they see we are going the wrong way

Give US the bailout, we know what to do
Pay off our debts and buy a house too.
But that doesn't put money in their fat wallets,
It all boils down to greed, there’s nothing else you can call it.

#26 - Greedsome Collectors

The cares of the world, are weighing me down.
To the point, that I wanted my thoughts; to drown.

Bills owed,  finding their way to the mail box.
I want to pay them, but; I have too many roadblocks.

Collectors harassing  day in and day out on the telephone.
Even on the "do not call" list they still won't leave you alone.

I try and develop a plan to suppress the harassment.
That didn't last very long, or even bring any appeasement.

The greedsome collectors send a pile, that is a waste of trees.
Just to collect their "grub" and jacked up hideous fees!

Then the greedsome collectors called me at work!
I called them back mad and was about to go berserk!

Then I received a whopping medical bill.
I felt so sick with disgust, I think I feel "ill".

In the mail was a pink envelope and what was inside?
An insurance bill that read "if not paid" then services denied.

I come home from my job feeling somber and "spent".
I opened up my check, of course; the government took their "cent".

They say when it rains, it pours.
Life’s tedious doldrums but, a different day; and more downpour!

#27 - Untitled

YOU NEED MONEY
NOT ENOUGH CASH
SO YOUR CREDIT CARDS
YOU START TO TRASH
YOU START ON ONE
NOT ENOUGH DOUGH
TO THE NEXT ONE YOU WILL GO
ON AND ON FORGETTING THE FACT
THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY IT BACK

#28 - Untitled

Credit card offers coming by the dozen,
money was flowing and shoppers were a buzzin'.
It got out of hand and the economy went bust.
In God, but apparently not borrowers, do bankers now trust.
When credit was flowing, unfortunately I took the bait.
Now my cards are maxed out and the banks just raised my rate!
Jobs are gone, no end to financial woes in sight,
We need a solution - and fast - to this worldwide plight!

#29 - Drastic Plastic

The things I bought, when first I bought them
Seemed to bring me some elation
But over time, when home I brought them
I came to see, with consternation -

Each time my card was flourished forth
From the depths of my wallet, frayed
The final cost could not be worth
The mental bill that sits unpaid!

The weight that settles on my shoulders
This fear and loathing of the phone
I feel like sysiphus rolling boulders
Up a hill of debt, alone!

For food, for care, for simple clothes
These bills were for, these bills of mine
Yet into the valley of debt I rode -
Ten dollars at a time!

The paper trail has burst the borders
And paved my life like route 66
Winding and weaving my purchase orders
Into a number-laden river styx!

The bills they gather, now en masse
Like zombies shambling at my gate
No matter how fast they meet the trash
This paper blizzard howls my fate!

(And so I beg, with words in rhyme
To help me fight before I'm covered
In these statements of the damned of mine
One pen-jockey, to another.)

#30 - A Flattery

O, Robin Hood, fair Patron of the Poor
'Tis your noble calling I adore 

(Not to mention your wit! Your looks!
Your forest-smarts! Your adventure books!)

I pray Thee, drop a shilling at my gate:
I live at 425... O, wait-

'Tis down in the Dungeon of the Bank that I rot,
For those Cads of Commerce changed my credit terms- A Lot!

So, chained to this stone wall, I sing your praises
Whilst, upstairs in the vault, they pocket hefty raises.

I confess, I Played with Plastic - this failure now I see:
The steed-repair, the blood-letting, the funny tooth-pull spree.

Once upon a time, a giving soul, me self-
Now my piggy bank lies shattered on the shelf.

Dearest Merry Man- I beg thee, do not pause
For then my tattered hanky must fall to Santa Claus.