Bad Poetry Contest Submissions - Group 5

Here is the fifth set of entries we've received for our SpendOnLife bad poetry contest. Enjoy!

#41 - Priceless

My girl, the palms, the ocean waves
The sun, the dolphins, drinks of lime,
A kiss, a promise, a diamond ring –
Such a precious moment in time.
 
And now that I’ve got the bill for it all
I really must confess,
Although it’ll take me two years to pay off,
That precious moment was priceless.

#42 - Untitled

They came via mail, they called via phone
“You’re PRE-APPROVED”, apply for a loan
"You’re credit-worthy", my chest swelled with pride
Just sign on the line, you won’t be denied.
And sign I sure did, one after the next
And credit cards came with cash-advance checks
 
There was one that was platinum, another was gold
yet another that put minimum payments on hold
Some had rewards and points to accrue
I charged and I charged ‘til the payments came due
What happened next, I bet you know the tale
Those dreaded late notices came in the mail.
 
“Ring, Ring” goes the phone, I know who is calling
I’m avoiding their calls, they know I am stalling
Minimum payments are where my paychecks are spent
The annual rate has now grown to 20 percent
I can’t use the cards, now they’re over the limit
I’m deep in the hole, I hate to admit it.
 
I chip away at the balance a bit at a time
The bare minimum payments take every last dime
With every late payment, my credit score dips
I turn to the internet, searching for tips
It’s too late for me, but it’s not for you
My money is gone and the payments are due.

#43 - Sold My Dreams

Sold my dreams to a bandit for a dollar
Of course he stole my shoes
But I’m not complaining
After all, he’s a bandit
He has to keep the level
Of his market skills up
And with that dollar I was able to buy
Medicine for my baby sister
And food my mother
The next week
I sold my hopes to an assassin for a dime
Of course he assassinated the squirrels
In the beautiful old apple tree in the backyard
But that was okay because the assassin didn’t want
You know, his mojo to get rusty
And with that dime I was able to buy
A trip to the dentist for my uncle
And a coffin and funeral for my son
And the week after that I counted my blessings
And praised God in His Heaven
For my dumb luck to live in a land
Of such generosity and caring
Oh, turn away from my babbling face
Oh, wall up your ears against my foolish words
Oh, turn your eyes to the horizon
Here come those bandits and assassins YOU were expecting
What do you have, what do you need to sell?

#44 - Untitled

Visa card, Mastercard, American Express,
Maxed out, over used, screwed by the interest.
Monday, overtime, no plans tonight,
Pay rent, clean the pad, living the life.
Tuesday, pool hall, drinking with the guys,
Have fun, buy a round, credits on the rise.
Wednesday, work out, renew gym membership,
Dont know why, Im still fat, Im losing my grip.
Thursday, have a date, dinner and a flick,
Drop her off, eighty bucks, wasted on a bitch.
Friday, go to work, make money like a man,
Paycheque, transfer, im broke again.
Saturday, extra shift, I need the work,
Exhausted, underpayed, the boss is a jerk.
Sunday, relax, and watch the game,
No food, order in, its always the same.
Monday, start again, what can I do,
Right a poem, hope its good, submit it to you!

#45 - Untitled

I never thought before I bought, or even sought to get a second opinion.
But  stupid me, with a college degree, can never make a sound decision.
I'm talking my credit score, and forevermore, will continue to hunt me.
 
Even in  school, I was a fool, when it came down to getting a high score,unfortunately.
Grade me according to my good looks, and my expensive college books, something I am sure of.
Because I am up to here, in debt, overdraft check, its something I just cannot get rid of.
 
I tell you what , with a thousand bucks , I can bring my numbers up.
But with my luck, It would be better off,  just to stand on the corner with my empty cup.
All hold up a sign, that read all the time, will work for high credit score.
In hopes to be accepted by society once more, as a way to have good credit, and start this vicious cycle once more.
 
LIFE IS A ROLLERCOASTER AND I AM GETTING DIZZY

#46 - Money Talks

Champagne, caviar, a trip to Paris,
People listen when money talks.
Late notices, bill collectors, repossessors
People leave when money walks.

#47 - Remember the Joy

Remember the joy
Lost through pressure and stress
Money, the new survival game
Used to be hunting and gathering
Now it’s the commuter-belt
Money-making is heart felt
Everyone looks the same
Compliant and tame
Only bread winning counts
And nothing less
Be the best
Better than the rest
Competition overpowers
Emotional intelligence
Is laid to rest
More beer
More fags
More personality brags
Gotta keep up
Keep covering up

#48 - Credit

I'd really like to end it

My balance causes stress
It's all my fault, I guess

Too many things I "had" to get
Just put me farther into debt

This bail out I might chance to win
Will oh so surely make me grin!

#49 - Will that be Debit or Credit?

Credit! Plastic! Charge it!      
Never once did I have a clue  
But now today I had a fit   
Is this the balance due?  

As shocked as shocked can be 
I saw my friend so I could pout 
She said, "Your stupid, don't you see?"
And told me to get out  

I don't know what to do  
I'm sincerely upset by it   
maybe next time I'll have a clue
won't spend an extra bit 

So for that special day
I'll save all of my cash for it
and know for sure that I will say
Debit! Debit! Debit!

#50 - Soliloquy for My Master (Card)

What rock through yonder window breaks?
'Tis a love letter from my creditor, I see,

Avowing our sweet promises of Olde
Yet stated now most hideously!

But, He reserves the right to morph,
It says in print sooooooooo fine.

His pleadings, they enthrall me so,
I wish I had some wine.

'Tis More of Me, his soul requires,
O darling, bottomless heart!

Fear not, my constant prince! I am yours
until Death* do us part.