Bad Poetry Contest Submissions - Group 8

Posted August 27th, 2009 by Ashley Baxter

Here is the eighth set of entries we've received for our SpendOnLife bad poetry contest.  Enjoy!

#71 - Moolah

Moolah, that green paper stuff,
oh how it's been good & bad.
It saved me when my first date ran out of gas, and it paid for my college class.
It paid for my parking ticket even though I had three minutes left on the meter, Heck, it's even paid for some pretty good theater.
It was with me in other currencies throughout my trip to Europe, and bought my pancake lovin' family lots of maple syrup.
I love moolah, but I hate it too,
'cause it mostly says Adieu.

#72 - The Debtor's Prayer

I beseech you gods
Of silver and gold
If you could
Be so very bold
To forgive my debt,
And clear up my bill
So my creditors
Will extend goodwill.

#73 - What’s A Girl to Do?

I know I must be practical,
The bills must all be paid.
What joy is there in a number transaction, Or a Penny earned is a penny saved?
I’d rather be spontaneous,
And Hop that plane or train or bus,
Even if I have to charge it
Next time I will compensate,
I’ll pay double or triple to appease
Those angry interest gods who wait,
Well, you know it isn’t always easy,
Sometime’s a girls just gotta do,
Oh!  Those late fees make me queasy,
I love the color!  Yes, I’ll take two!

#74 - Untitled

Wamu to Chase bank
Paint over the sign. How odd.
No more coffee, sad.

#75 - Plastic World

Got my financial needs
Got my financial bleeds
Got a little plastic vampire attached to me

Livin’ in a plastic world?
Datin’ a plastic girl
Got a little plastic pet
Drownin’ in plastic debt

Plastic world

So many people I meet
Like the people on TV
Got their little plastic personalities…plastic people

Livin’ in a plastic world?   
Datin’ a plastic girl
Got a little plastic pet
Drownin’ in plastic debt

Plastic world

When my plastic girlfriend
Had plastic surgery
I bought her plastic flowers
With my plastic money

Now she’s looking hot
Her body’s off the chart
She dumps me for another
And breaks my plastic heart

Livin’ in a plastic world?
Datin’ a plastic girl
Got a little plastic pet
Drownin’ in plastic debt

Plastic world

#76 - Bad Debt

Borrow
And
Die

Drowning
Every
Body
Today

#77 - I Have Spent So Much Time (I write a poem not make a-bomb)

I have spent so much time to learn life.
I have heard so many words to be alive upon your life.
I have seen so many live events in the news in every morning and evening.
I have felt all kind of the sting of how to love life.
Finally, I have noted all the contradictions of suicide bombings.
That is not a credit card of life.
 
I have forgotten something very important in life.
I have forgotten the hundreds of poems that I made to you yesterday.
I had forgotten the beauty of your eyes that keeps me alive.
I had forgotten how to flirt talk about the world today.
That is not a credit card of love.

Ah, I will remember again all the stories that I sewing with my own yarn.
I will remember again all my love greeting card for you.
I will gather again all my love greeting card for you.
Yes, in order not lost my love for you from a card and a piece of poetry that been made yesterday.
Therefore, I can forget about all the contradictions of suicide bombing with a piece of poetry that I send this love card for you today.
That is a credit card for real love and life. 

#78 - The Allure of Plastic

Well, what is it you want me to say?
That my cold, hard plastic did me in;
Ok, yes, I committed that sin.
I swiped those cards 'til my fingers wore thin,
when what I should have done was throw them in the trash bin.
Instead, they're nestled in a secret hiding place,
still taunting me with their raised-numbered face.
But always under lock and key --
kept strictly for an emergency.
Now every month I pay bit by bit,
questioning why I bought all this sh*t,
most of which most I can't recall;
But someday, somehow, I'll pay for it all.
 

#79 - Farewell Old Friend

 
Oh card of platinum with the beautiful design
I've spent much too long loving the fact you are mine

We traveled and shopped, you've been a good friend
But like so many things, our good times must end

Impractical times of such mindless spending
Left nothing but debt with loads of bills pending

Priorities and habits, it's time to rethink
I might win this contest and be back in black ink!
 

#80 - Bail Out

 
Because I was weak and the credit card companies were strong
Now I'm in debt 'til the cows come home;
After receiving credit applications, at least two or three a day
It wasn't long before the cards starting rolling my way;
Yet here I sit with all the free checks in the mail
Drowning in debt and afraid I'm gonna have to bail;
Yes a bailout is the answer I need
To stimulate me, surely it would indeed!
Because my lack of discipline with such a powerful tool
It is now with the collectors that I have to dual;
But let me say if a bailout I should get
Never again over debt will I fret;
For a hard lesson learned has made me strong
And not to one credit card company will I belong;
Due to a little hard work and the words of Dave Ramsey
Halleluha! I'm going to stay DEBT FREE!!
 

 

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