Bad Poetry Contest Submissions - Group 9

Posted August 28th, 2009 by Carrie Davis

Here is the ninth set of entries we've received for our SpendOnLife bad poetry contest. Enjoy!

#81 - A Girl's Best Friend

At the shopping mall,
Checking out the merchandise,
Looking at the tags
For a marked down sale price.
Even though I don’t need this dress
It’s such a great deal
That it should be on
Channel 5’s nightly newsreel,
Along with the shoes I found
And the designer bag,
I love them so much
But there’s just one snag –
I’ve maxed out my credit card,
I’ve no more to spend
I have to put my card away.
There goes my best friend.

#82 - A Haiku

Sinking deep in debt
Desperate for contest gold
To pay Autumn’s bills

#83 - Untitled

I hate work,
it makes me go berserk
Can't wait until I'm retired
or hear the words "You're fired!"
 

#84 - Haiku Me$$age in a Bottle

 
Awash in debt, I'm
Going down for the last time--
Send help quickly, please!
 

#85 - Woes of the Creditor

 
The credit card industry
Whines quite a lot,
Saying how hard they are hit,
And need what I've got.
 
Well not everyone pays--
I understand, to be sure--
By why raise my rate?
I've a good credit score.
 
FIA keeps saying
That it is my friend,
Glad I've nothing from HSBC,
Their rates are the living end.
 
Usury is a crime,
Wasn't,
But today I had to call,
To keep my rate at 14.99 percent.
 

#86 - Confounded Interest

 
I did what you said, Ms. Orman!
Slashed my APRs;
Chipped away at my towering debt;
Reinforced the broken spine of my credit report,
And tidied and swept my financial landscape.
Success at last!

I had confounded the encroachment
Of compounding interests.
But without the fear of financial ruin,
Blazing just behind me,
I found my spirit lagged.
So I built up a little load of debt again,
Just to keep my step lively.

 

#87 - Played Out

 
A night at the casino
Black chips stacked high,
If I could win tonight
I can kiss my bills good-bye.

A day at the track
If I pick the winning horse,
I can buy my dream house
Next to a plush golf course.

A night at the fights
I’ve made a big bet,
If I win this one
I’ll buy a shiny black corvette.
 
And now that I’ve gambled
All my cash away,
I’ll max out my credit card
So I can continue to play.

And now that my card
Is completely maxed out,
I’m drowning in debt
Without a doubt.
 

#88 - Untitled

 
I hate money
Money hates me
Why oh why can't money be free?
 

#89 - B.F.F.

 
Minimum payment
Makes me Creditors' best friend
Best Friends forever? :(
 

#90 - Recession Haiku

 
Much work but clients
Don't pay until months later.
Visa bill is late.
 
 


 

Average: 2.3 (3 votes)
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